me and my organisers

this is a totally lame and useless post, for the sole purpose of wasting time. i bought this very pretty organiser a few months back for the sole purpose of using it as an address book. but i figured that it's a colossal waste of money if it functions only as address book, seeing as i barely use address books. so i decided to turn it into my daily planner/organiser.

see my transformation. from a blank page into a monthly view and weekly views. guess what, it's all hand made. yup. i used colour pencil and forever friends stencil to make the nice numbers. so proud of it. a very nice and brainless way to destress also. it's like art. haha! and unlike my NUSSU diary, this diary is less likely to get beaten up and crumpled and it looks so nice and sophisticated also. wonder how long it'll take for me to get to the end of the year. i'm currently up to march with the stencilling.but of course, there is an opportunity cost. and to me...the biggest opp cost is that the 'customizations' i made to my NUSSU diary, such as pasting clay's face over the stupid ads, is now redundant. so, i can't see my clay's face anymore in my new organiser. it's too small. and the ink and paper i used to print the pictures are also wasted. sigh. but, being the calender whore that i've become (i have, at last count, 4 calenders prepared for 2007), i may decide to change back to NUSSU diary halfway. so...haha!

and...andrew is now in prague. sent him off at the airport on tuesday. lucky him. he says it's very cold there. but...hey, he's on holiday lor! and he gets to sing and then play and tour austria. that's pretty darn cool.

and clay's giving a tour of his new house that's gonna be aired on tv!! saw the promo clips. wow!!! I LOVE HIS HOUSE! it's one of those rich man house that i wanna live in some day. lol!

alrighty. all for now. supposed to be revising for calculus. i think i'll be flunking calculus today. but, i don't really care at the moment. haha!

p.s. i just realised. my blog is two years old! (est. november 2004)




mood: happy
listening to: May it be - Enya.

while guiltily slacking

i'm wasting my precious study time. not a good thing. but...it's been nice for me. get to blow off a bit of steam.

check THIS out! funny story about a bunch of turkeys found standing at a train platform on wednesday before thanksgiving. cute! they're trying to make a getaway!




mood: guilty
listening to: i'm always ready for you - deborah allen

we are all pilgrims in this life

Pilgrim by Enya

Pilgrim, how you journey
on the road you chose
to find out why the winds die
and where the stories go.

All days come from one day
that much you must know,
you cannot change what's over
but only where you go.

One way leads to diamonds,
one way leads to gold,
another leads you only
to everything you're told.
In your heart you wonder
which of these is true;
the road that leads to nowhere,
the road that leads to you.

Will you find the answer
in all you say and do?
Will you find the answer
in you?

Each heart is a pilgrim,
each one wants to know
the reason why the winds die
and where the stories go.

Pilgrim, in your journey
you may travel far,
for prilgrim it's a long way
to find out who you are...

sick of studying

i'm just about preparing to kiss my dreams of SEP goodbye. au revoir. auf weidersen. goodbye.

spent today going through calculus. i'm going to fail. it looks ok in theory. i understand what i'm supposed to be doing and how i'm supposed to do it. but when i actually sit down and try it out myself, it doesn't work. i literally spent an hour trying to figure out an optimization problem. and i still haven't gotten it solved. the only modules i got a bit of confidence in is EL2101 and GEK1500. i'm officially screwed. goodbye to a good CAP. now i'll be happy if i even pass.

spending the time studying is stressful. especially when you have to handle other stuff on the side. for instance, mum has gotten a job. and she expects me to help her to prepare her stuff for that. then there's the choir. immediately after the exams end i'm gonna be rushing into that to prepare for carolling. then there's the feast day stuff. i skipped a meeting today. can't afford the time to pull out. sigh. and daryl's not coming this sunday and the next sunday either. have to remember to catch dawn to ask if she can take over. else that's one more thing to worry about. the organ. :(

i'm so praying that next year when the new youth team comes in, someone more qualified will be able to take over the choir. there we go again. like i told that guy...(what's his name from juice. the one that appeared for a day and MIA for the rest of the time)...anyway, i think i expect too much of myself. and when i can't handle it, i stress myself out and worry myself silly.

anyway. ya so. stressing out. been dropping by to lurk on the message boards to cool off sometimes. but...scandals happening again. all over clay and kelly ripa this time. long story i'll tell next time. so... :p there too. my clone fic's coming nicely tho. horrible the way inspiration strikes at the wrong time. damn.

oh ya! some question...thanksgiving is supposed to fall on the last thursday of november. but this year, i noticed, the last thursday is actually nov 30th, last day of the month. so why are they celebrating thanksgiving on the 2nd last thursday instead of the last? and i just read an article that seems quite thought provoking. why is thanksgiving celebrated like it's so great when it actually has not too good historical background? not having done american history... the pilgrims came to the New World and just claimed it for themselves despite the fact that there were already people living there and forcing the natives to submit to their rule. the whole history of colonisation is...well...depressing sometimes. it's true that it's the winners who write history. and those who lose...their stories just disappear as if they never existed.




mood: sian
listening to: it's my life - bon jovi

shout out

i dreamt about john little and soo hwa last night. god knows why it suddenly popped up in my dreams. i guess i miss those days more than i know. maybe it's the exam stress, or too much fan fiction, but when i hear sappy songs recently, *g*... for instance, this song "remember me this way" and the one below "same old lang syne". it gets you to thinking about life, romance (or the lack of it) and about stuff like mortality and how time just goes by...and it will never ever come back. and people will grow old and leave your life. and in the end, you're alone.

sigh.





mood: sentimental
listening to: remember me this way - jordan hill

found this song online. it's kinda sad, in retrospect:

Same Old Lang Syne by Dan Fogelberg album: The Innocent Age (1981),

Met my old lover in the grocery store The snow was falling Christmas Eve I stole behind her in the frozen foods And I touched her on the sleeve She didn't recognize the face at first But then her eyes flew open wide She went to hug me and she spilled her purse And we laughed until we cried We took her groceries to the checkout stand The food was totaled up and bagged We stood there lost in our embarrassment As the conversation dragged Went to have ourselves a drink or two But couldn't find an open bar We bought a six-pack at the liquor store And we drank it in her car We drank a toast to innocence We drank a toast to now And tried to reach beyond the emptiness But neither one knew how She said she'd married her an architect Who kept her warm and safe and dry She would have liked to say she loved the man But she didn't like to lie I said the years had been a friend to her And that her eyes were still as blue But in those eyes I wasn't sure if I Saw doubt or gratitude She said she saw me in the record stores And that I must be doing well I said the audience was heavenly But the traveling was hell We drank a toast to innocence We drank a toast to now And tried to reach beyond the emptiness But neither one knew how We drank a toast to innocence We drank a toast to time Reliving in our eloquence Another 'auld lang syne' The beer was empty and our tongues were tired And running out of things to say She gave a kiss to me as I got out And I watched her drive away Just for a moment I was back at school And felt that old familiar pain And as I turned to make my way back home The snow turned into rain

hyper in the face of doom!

i'm feeling pretty hyper these days. even though i shouldn't be.

i played with that website tie-in the book "Divine secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood". There was this link that let you find your ya-ya name. and my ya-ya name is "Duchess Crazy-Like-A-Fox". cool!

and i was listening to this interview clay did with ryan seacrest recently. so funny!! kinda dirty. :D the female interviewer was saying stuff about clay better not piss off ryan cos years from now when he's releasing another album, he's gonna be licking at ryan's ankles wanting to get on the air. and the two guys were making fun of her using the word "licking" instead of "nipping". then they go on to talk about clay's panic attacks and clay jokes he's pretty heavily medicated. and ryan comments that this coming christmas performances will be one of the best ever cos "he pops a couple of pills and he goes out and he sings 'jack frost lickin at your nose'!" hahahaaha!! ask me if you wanna hear the full thing. it's very funny. quite wrong at times.

ya. newae. ya. little things like that make me feel so hyper. lol! still thinking about the jack frost lickin at your nose. geez!! that would be such a freudian slip. sounds so wrong somehow.

k. never mind. wanted to type something for the sake of typing something. cya!



mood: hyper
listening to: nothing.

sometimes i wish i'm part of no religion

know why? cos so far in my life, formal religion has only brought me grief. nothing good has come out of me being part of a formal religion. when i read about things that my religion has done and is doing, i get into this "what the fuck are they thinking?!" mood.

i'm sick of people finding out that i'm catholic and then asking, "why aren't you in css?" of people becoming so fanatical about small things, expecting you to share their point of view. of people proclaiming that you'll go to hell if you don't be baptised. of people discriminating against other people just because they don't follow and believe the bible to the letter. i hate it when they pray that people living in darkness will see the light, be converted and follow the sweet lord jesus onto the right path. *puke* i hate this elitist attitude.

know why i'm in such a bad mood all of a sudden? i just read an article on yahoo about some new regulation in the US catholic church about gays, homosexuals and those who practice contraception and birth control. that was the spark for today. i detest the way supposed 'straight' people treat those who are different from them. they have such a condescending attitude...it's just sick. who are you to judge these people? who are you to say whether they have the right to have communion or be marginalised? let he who is without sin...

i will always remember that catholic woman who violently shoo-ed me away from her door when i tried to sell her those tickets. christianity at its worse.

i could go on ranting but it won't do any good and it'll only offend people further.

i envy those people who have no religion.




mood: blah
listening to: nothing that i want to hear

listen to this!!

love this song: DO I CREEP YOU OUT

weird al is such a genius. listen to the lyrics. :D



mood: very very amused
listening to: do i creep you out - weird al yankovic

something fishy?

and another clay article has appeared. in TODAY paper today. hmm...now, what are the chances of an artist getting 2 articles published consecutively in 2 different papers in 2 days?

think something's up? i do. *fingers crossed*





mood: tired
listening to: nothing

clay article in the New Paper

there was a article on clay in the new paper yesterday. click HERE to read the online version. didn't manage to buy the paper to get a copy myself. so, any kind soul who buys new paper and doesn't want to keep the copy, please give me.

there was quite a bit of controversy/unhappiness about the interview cos of the journalist's apparently not too good attitude/comments. but i think the claymates are just being too sensitive. anyway, now that i'm on my own space...

"Where once he was bored, uncomfortable and guarded during media interviews, Aiken was all sweetness and light"
haha! cute.

"The 27-year-old balladeer was unnaturally chirpy and gave interesting answers, while compliments on his handsome image were met with uproarious, disbelieving laughter."
it's been three years. can't the guy just accept that people think he looks good? this sentence conjures up this little boy image in my mind.

"'Are you trying to say I was ugly before?'"
he was lah. a little. not ugly ugly, just weird ugly.

"Oh Lord, no! I'm not the gym type. Wait, are you saying I've (become) fat? I'm trying to figure out if you calling me fat is a compliment,' he said, highly amused."
if he's fat...then i'm gargantuan. but it's true, he's put on a bit. he looks better now. nice. more macho.

"Aiken recalled: 'It was like facing a time warp mirror. I had not met the young man until I got onstage, and the reaction that came from him... words cannot describe."
ya. time warp mirror is a perfect phrase to describe. michael sandecki was really literally clay's doppelganger or something. who he was years and years ago. it was seriously...clay's described it perfectly. they all say that clay was nervous on that night. but he did a very good job at hiding it. time to go and watch the video again and see if it's true.

"Maybe Aiken's so cheery nowadays because he's been on happy pills."
there was controversy about the journalist calling it "happy pills". don't know. i think it's a matter of perspective. maybe some people think that calling anti-depressants that is offensive. for me, on first glance, it's an ok statement. bit cute too, cos i want happy pills too. but in retrospect, ya, it's not very nice. especially if the person taking it really has a problem and really needs it.

"'Now, I'm not always so nervous in public, and I'm losing my hat more often.'"
i always knew the guy was a little off his rocker.

"Not even bringing up the sensitive topic of his oft-speculated sexuality put a dent in Aiken's aw-shucks armour."
really? i had the impression that the gay rumours were the worse thing to talk about with him. maybe over the phone, she can't really tell how it's affecting him. and good actor as he is, probably he hides his feelings too well.

"'I'm not talking and not addressing this anymore. I'm tired of fighting the fight. My job is to sing and perform and entertain people.'"
you go clay! no point fighting a losing battle there.

"The show continues to maintain its appeal, but after a while the market is saturated with this Idol, that Idol, this Idol."
too right. there's only enough market for a optimum number of Idols. and it's fast approaching the limit (if it hasn't been reached already). singapore with all those chinese talent shows is a prime example.

"'But I do feel this is like my first album again. We're selling it with a normal amount of publicity and fanaticism. "
they're selling with practically no publicity wrt to singapore. i haven't seen cd reviews or radio ads. if i didn't follow online, i wouldn't know that there was a new album out.

"'It's a true test. But from now, anything I do is successful in my eyes.'"
clay once said that failure is when he puts out an album and it's not true to himself. but now that he's doing what he thinks is right, it's a success cos it lives up to his own standards of what it means to be successful. i wish we could all think like that, instead of doing the bell curve and constantly comparing with other people. load of stress that way.

overall, nice article, if you don't analyse it to the depths of being and start imagining all kinds of hidden conspiracies inside it.



mood: ok
listening to: Prince of tides - james newton howard

bitching again

today's bitching topic is the NUS LT26 computer center IBM techie. i regret finishing the survey about service so early. this encounter has got to be one of the worse service experiences of all in NUS.

background. my computer did something funny last wednesday and all of a sudden, it switched from Intel PRO/Set Wireless to windows wireless for no reason at all. and when i check the intel program, it says that "No supported wireless adapters available in the system". Fn+F5 doesn't display wireless radio either. and to top that, it takes 5 minutes from the log-on page to the desktop. i timed it multiple times. so, officially panicking. this is my darling laptop we're talking about.

so, yesterday, i decided finally, to take it to the computer center. long story about that. met dhui for lunch. we went to YIH for sushi. (and there's a computer center there also.) anyway, after sushi, i was supposed to meet su hui to go to fix my computer, but that wasn't for another hour. so, me and dhui went to the sc fac for softshell crab. wasn't bad. not used to it though. then, went back to YIH and hung around the student lounge. later, met su hui and went to the YIH comp center. very unceremoniously we were told that IBM is no longer serviced there. have to go to LT26 comp center. what da hell. we just came back from the sc fac lor. so anyway, i decided that it can wait till the next day, cos i don't want to travel all the way back to the sc fac.

so, today. after EL lecture, went to LT26 comp center with joseph. firstly, the place is so small. and there were 2 people sitting visibly at the counter. i went up to the counter. don't know who to talk to. none of them made a move to ask me anything. for all i know, i might be talking to any student who just wandered into the store. so, i talked to them both. tell them, i think there's something wrong with my IBM...the minute i said IBM, they yelled "IBM!!" to another guy at the back. ok, fine. the IBM tech came out. so i tried to explain to him what's wrong. he gave me this attitude...like he's not interested in what's wrong. his attitude was like, it's working, you've got wireless access, can access the internet, so what's the problem?!

ok, maybe i'm not gifted in the skill of explaining myself well. but his ENTIRE attitude was that if it's working, there's no problem. and my problem is, yes, it's working, but it's not working the way it used to (presumably the way it should be). so, anyway, after i told him that the computer used to be able to use the Intel wireless and it has NEVER used windows wireless before this, he took a slip of paper, and wrote down a number and told me, call IBM hotline. what the fucking hell??!!!!?!?!?!! there's a fucking reason why there is a computer center at NUS in the first place. if i wanted to call IBM directly, you think i'd go out of my way to bring the whole laptop all over the school?! what's the school computer center for anyway?!!!

and then! he says, for the slow log-on, there's nothing we can do about it except to reformat the computer. i think he's missing the point. the point is that, all this was a sudden, literally overnight change. not even overnight change lah. it all occurred within less than an hour's time period. obviously something's wrong right? and his entire attitude was like i'm a stupid paranoid idiot who knows nothing about computers. do you know how annoying that is?!???!?!!!

at the very least, explain to me why the computer suddenly decided to change all its settings. to me, it's pretty obvious that something's wrong. computers don't suddenly change settings for no reason. maybe i did something to it, maybe something happened to its insides. and it's obvious that i think it's obvious. the stupid guy didn't even bother. he was obviously not interested in serving me. and so obviously not interested in my problem. so why da hell is he working there in the first place?! frustrate people only.

anyway, i'm gonna call IBM probably tomorrow, or saturday. i want a second opinion. don't trust that guy. anyway, me in my infinite lousiness (or maybe cos i was just too pissed off) didn't think to ask him to set the wireless back to Intel for me. i think i was just way too pissed that he decided to refer me back to IBM. lucky the guy didn't charge me consultation fee or whatever. i'll kill him if he even dares to do that.

and they're all wondering why NUS alumni don't donate to the school. why should they? the school already eats up enough of our money during our time here. and it isn't like the money eaten up goes to our benefit. this just adds up to another experience that makes me hate the school even more. NUS is possibly the worse school experience in my entire life so far. i regret the day i didn't sign up for NTU.

anyway, ending off on a good note. for something cute and fuzzy, click HERE.




mood: frustrated
listening to: nothing

stolen time

stealing time out of my ma2101 homework time. don't know how to do it. it's the last homework of the semester for this module. YESSSS!!!!! good news from prof lian also. the last chapter of the book (the toughest one about jordan canonical forms) is not going to be in the exam. best news of the semester. :D but for now, still slog through the homework that's due tomorrow. i'm practically completely lost for this. it's weird. he talks in the lecture and i feel like i'm completely on another wavelength from him. i'm hearing what he says. i'm taking down what he's flashing on screen. but i just don't get it. bad.

ma1102 wasn't too bad. the lab session was much much better than the last. at least, maple was cooperating with me and working. i only just found out that all those lab sessions that we've been doing and keying into ivle are counted in our grade. damn. on the one hand, it's good cos in the end there's not going to be a big lab test. on the other hand, bad days like the previous session will horrifically kill my grade. need to work harder for calculus. i'm lagging.

not much. i got another haircut. cos i cannot stand it when the hair is draping all over my neck like it was. it's cut REAL short now. andrew says it looks like ruth's hairstyle. older version of ruth. haah! oh well. it's cool and low maintenance. the hairdresser was saying i have to stop purposely doing center parting cos it's making me lose hair at the center. but...i tried. really. after cutting today, i didn't purposely go to style it center. but it just bounced back anyway. it's gonna take a while to undo the 'damage'.

fr simon pereira (can't spell the name) came to do mass today. and i screwed up the psalm. shit. i haven't sung so badly at the stand for a long time liao. don't know why. i've been cantoring for so long liao but i still cannot cantor without clamming up and feeling like i'll cough my breakfast up just minutes before going up there. i think (i hope) i redeemed myself at the alleluia part. but...on the bright side, andrew's got to do the psalm next week. it's a difficult one. so evil i am. lol!

anyway, fr simon. dunno. i don't really like him too much cos of that issue in novena during the 'davinci code' time. will not talk about it here. just suffice to know that he's been described as "that fanatical priest". i don't remember exactly what he homilied about today. but i do remember that he said that the church (as in the archdiocese) mustn't forget about the youths in the church and must make them feel included cos there's a trend that youths serve mass in the catholic church, then go to protestant church after that. as in...hopping between 2 churches. well...as long as they keep to the promise next year about sending the redemptorist team in for the youth development thing. mum was commenting, it's about time that the archbishop paid more attention to st stephen's. after all, we've got 3 priests that emerged from our church and one that's 'in training'. that's pretty good for such a small church.

other stuff. the SEP applications have opened. i think i'm gonna try and apply again. although i think that this sem's CAP will kinda pull down my chances. sad. but, i'll try. adeline and jasmine say they also thinking of applying. to UNCCH. hope we can go together. fingers and toes crossed.

for those people wondering what da heck is my new music...i'm wondering too. it's called "che sara" by this italian guy Patrizio Buanne. i heard it on pandora radio. sounds pretty cool. i wonder what it means. it's darn hard to find this song lah. the lyrics also. and worse cos i can't hear the individual words the guy is singing. so...anyone italian that knows, let me know k.

allow me to proclaim my want list in all it's self centered glory. i want:
1. a universal remote control to stop time.
2. credit card so i don't have to ... ... ...
3. SEP with my friends.
4. relinquish leadership and become a hermit.
5. ipod mini
6. OFC membership
7. lost 10kg
8. grow to 1.7m
9. "Love Actually" dvd/vcd
10. a nice pair of sneakers.
11. electric piano or
12. electone organ
13. golden retriever dog.
14. leave singapore (ie migrate).

alrighty. all for now. reluctantly, i go back to work.



mood: sian.
listening to: good news - clay aiken

ups and downs

been a while...erm...i don't remember in chronological order what happened so, just randomising my post. not really in the mood to blog, but fingers itchy.

birthday. that was ok. went out for lunch at vivocity. well...i think i only saw a small bit of it, cos it didn't look as impressively big as i expected it to be. had dinner at fish&co. realised that my birthday last year, also went out to fish&co. haha! the drink was nice. took the 'pirate's poison' thingy. mango, passion fruit and sprite. plus red food colouring. and a gummy! shaped like teeth! cool!

had the SCO practice. it was...don't know how to describe it really. weird songs. so tempted to pull out. at least that 'instant is a millennium' thingy in J1 had a tune to it. this one...the lyrics are repeated. the tune is repeated. and it's practically at chanting pace. damn. but, it's a big choir involved. so...if we're lucky, can hide behind the others. lol!

i realise that i'm a very paranoid person. or rather, i developed paranoia over the year. anyway, all saints on 1nov. i thought it was supposed to be our choir's mass. i wrote it in my diary. BUT. i think i made a mistake in the typing of my minutes that time. cos the minutes said that we were supposed to do it on oct31 instead. damn. found out only after the mass. poor marion had to jump in and help out. *muacks* ya.

anyway, and then. we went down anyway for the 1nov mass. combined choir with the sunday evening mass choir. oh. my. god. oh! my! god! they did everything at a snail's pace. @.@ the organist played like she didn't know the songs. know that song "sons of god"? it's supposed to be FAST. they sang it SLOW. and very very very very painfully slowly. "sons. of. god. hear. his. holy. word. ga--ther. round. the. table. of. the. lord..." *cringe* the thanksgiving hymn..."blest are they" was a new one. it was actually quite nice. but...the organist!!! she should have played it better lah. i think for this mass, i could have done better lor.

anyway. my darling computer. something happened to it. don't know why. on tuesday night, i was fiddling with it, cos i was trying to reinstall outlook express. (which didn't work in the end anyway). anyway, the next day, my wireless connection refused to work. said that it couldn't find the IP address or something weird like that. so, paranoid me panicked. and began fiddling round with the comp. which i think i shouldn't have done. ya then. i decided to just leave it alone liao. (scared that i might have permanently damaged my comp). then, dhui came along and asked to use it. so, ok, i thought, it's been a while liao (an hour) just try lah. and you know what?! IT WORKED!!! but. it takes very long to load from the login page to when the desktop appears. someone tell me why. and now, my intel PRO/Set Wireless isn't working. it says that the adaptor is missing. someone please help me.

i was already thinking of reformatting. and i think this issue has kinda speeded up my decision to reformat. now i'm just looking for a way to back up my data before i do it.

talking about computers. sat for the second GEK1500 test on tuesday. I STUDIED. it was ok. at least there wasn't as many questions as last time that i couldn't understand at all. the only one that i was really stumped at was: "In the Dolby Digital 5.1 standard, what does the .1 stand for?" i think it's got something to do with the speakers. like, 5+1 speakers? but i left the question blank. :p

and i think that at the end of the semester, i'm gonna pass my GEK textbook to my mum to study. she's forgotten all the computer basics. like resizing the window. using the start menu. omg. *rollseyes* for someone who knows how to use the internet, she's kinda clueless about basic desktop stuff. the book will be perfect. lol!

clay's getting another CD out. or rather, it's called an EP (extended play). not that i know the difference between the 2. but i don't think we'll get it here in singapore. apparently it's gonna be released in walmart only. on nov28. now, should i ask someone to help me get (someone on clay aiken singapore board was offering), or should i just wait in agony till (and if) singapore gets it? i heard that he's got really good songs on it. eg "my grown up christmas list". love that song. and clay's version is really touching. AND i heard that it's very very very cheap. in SGD, less than $15.

talking about cheap, reminds me of money. there's good stuff coming into singapore next year. Phantom of the Opera in march. Il Divo in januray. and the rumour (from theodora) is clay aiken in february. wow!!! but...no money!!!!!! i wanna go for all!! POTO and Il Divo. which one? which one?! someone be nice and buy tickets for me. heehee! this is where a rich boyfriend comes in handy. lol!




mood: hyper
listening to: right here waiting - bryan adams